I need to stop coming to work sober
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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