after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
