You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
