i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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