fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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