U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize