I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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