You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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