My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
