3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
