Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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