I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
