love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
