Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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