do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
