where am i from again
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
