The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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