I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
