im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
