good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
