And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
being pregnant is like rehab
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
