Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
