I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize