His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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