its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Michael Bay diarrhea
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
