Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize