..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize