I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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