I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I bet he comes in French.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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