your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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