I puked a lego.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
