I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
