I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
