This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
