i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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