Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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