my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
