my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was like eating out sand paper
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
