he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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