THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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