so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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