M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
