You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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