I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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