Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
