i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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