Are we in a gay sports bar?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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