I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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