if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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