if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
