ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
love makes seman taste better
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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