so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
