this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize