just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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