someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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