dude i'm inner monologue high
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
