bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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