You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
