I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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