So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
