so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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