Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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