i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
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