i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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