Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish I only lived at night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
