Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
