Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
