She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
