She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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