capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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