Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
