I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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