Your face is a jimmy john
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
