I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
