I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
